Welcome to an overview of the 7 BEs of well-BE-ing. We are currently creating a more detailed overview of each BE, with related research, a story or two and an activity. However here is a sneak preview, to get you going.
We know relationships with others are hard work. What of those with ourselves?
Being true to yourself always starts with values clarity. You can get some clarity here. Mind you, clarity is just the beginning, consistent values-based action is key too.
Not being true to your values, often comes with warning signs. Discomfort? Physical symptoms? Overindulgence? What are yours?
Let’s start with being kind to yourself – What does this look like for you?
For me it is detaching from my inner critic. She is a mighty strong and persistent woman. She is also kinda smart, hence difficult to argue with. I carefully don’t say stopping my inner critic, that would be a fool’s errand.
I say detaching in a mindfulness sense. I mean noticing, observing and accepting, without trying to change her. Of course then paradoxically it tends to take some of the sting out of her.
Be Comfortable Asking for Help
I am a hypocrite on this one. I am really really rubbish at asking for help.
See that time I moved house by myself turning down offers of help because it just seemed easy not to feel indebted to anyone. There was a little bit of the old control freak – I’ll just do it my way in there too. FYI – it did not go well.
“It’s clear that social relationships are critical for promoting wellbeing and for acting as a buffer against mental ill health for people of all ages.” The mental health foundation.
Social support is also important for physical health outcomes. Many people lack social support, who could you offer or receive social support to today? The great thing about remembering to BE WITH, both physically and emotionally is it offers social support to all present.
I remember reading an article in the Herald around 2012 about these people meeting in cafes and calling themselves ‘quantifiers’. They tracked all manner of information about themselves with a crazy array of gadgets. In truth, I thought my word these people don’t have a life.
Then I became a Quantifier, yes with a capital Q. I even tracked physiological, symptoms and lifestyle information in a statistics package for months and then ran actual statistics on it!
I learned again never to say never (how many times must one learn that?). I also learned that data can be very important in holding oneself accountable for health goals.
I don’t recommend everyone become a quantifier – I do recommend maybe trying it (there are many cool apps are out there, see our blog for how to work this with Heart Rate Variability).
What I do recommend is to craft accountability for your wellbeing goals. Often accountability to others is more effective than to yourself – Consider a friend, parent, child, pet (dogs are great for keeping you honest on walking), therapist, a support group (online or real life), coach, teammates, teacher, mentor, elder, church leader…..
Be in Motion
You don’t need to be this guy to be in motion. Motion can be very small, yet not insignificant. Here are some tips from the mental health foundation on the topic:
• Take the stairs not the lift
• Go for a walk at lunchtime
• Walk into work – perhaps with a colleague – so you can ‘connect’ as well
• Get off the bus one stop earlier
• Organise a work sporting activity
• Have a kick-about in a local park
• Do some ‘easy exercise’, like stretching, before you leave for work in the morning
• Walk to someone’s desk instead of calling or emailing.
I see being in Motion as not just physical, but I think of motion also in terms of learning and growth.
Be the Journey
I’m a huge Work in Progress when it comes to ‘being the journey’. Firstly let me explain what I mean by this idea. I mean, remembering, despite Hollywood’s best messaging to the contrary, life is not about the destination. There is no one main goal or place to arrive. Life is quite literally lived right now, and right now.
I am no Echart Tolle (The Power of Now). I have come far and I will go further. But I am no natural. I did not become that person who did a PhD in wellbeing for interest, by being a naturally sunny natured, easy to self-manage person. Quite the opposite. My core personality is intolerant, distractable and cynical. Living in the present and I are not natural allies.
Oddly, I started to flex my Power-of-Now muscle, not when I read the book, but when I was very sick. When the present was unbearable and the pain and nausea overwhelming. My learning started when I was too sick to run off to the future or to think about the past. I came face-to-face with the present when it grabbed my attention so much I could not be elsewhere.
I am now reasonably well, and sometimes really in the Now. In the future I hope to be more in the Now (see what I did there lol).
The Magic of Seven
Just for fun some other sevens to entertain you…….
- Pillars of the House of Wisdom in the Book of Proverbs.
- Sages of Greece.
- Sorrows and Joys of Mary
- Heavens of Islam
- Deadly sins
- Ancient sages
- Steps around the fire (to unite when marrying)
- Days for god to create the world
- Days of mourning in Judaism
- Angels in Egyptian mythology
- Major stars of the big dipper
- Cervical vertebrae of most mammals
- Periods on the periodic table of elements and
- Colors of the rainbow
- Continents and seas on earth
- Hills of Rome
- Hills of Istanbul,
- ‘planets’ visible to the naked eye
- Notes in a typical major or minor scale
- Last, but certainly not least, books in the Harry Potter series