How to negotiate like you: for your lifestyle.

my way negotiation

So women (and men supporting women to close the gender pay gap), here’s hoping you followed the learnings from men in step one who are more likely than women to negotiate in the first plate.  That you’re prepared as discussed in step two, knowing the market and your value.  You are also channeling others – because you know that women do better at negotiating on behalf of others (than themselves) – as discussed in step three.

Now what about custom fitting your pay/benefits negotiations to your exact life style and needs.

Understand your negotiables.

Is salary the only thing that is valuable to you?

Know how much you would value, both financially and emotionally;

  • A vehicle supplied
  • Parking
  • Longer leave
  • Shorter hours
  • Flexible working
  • Benefits like health insurance, gym memberships etc. etc.

Know exactly what negotiables you would be prepared to sacrifice salary for and know exactly how much.  Remember to keep these cards close to your chest for now.  Just because you ‘would’ or ‘could’ sacrifice dollars does not mean you ‘should’.

Get a pen and paper or better a spreadsheet and really dig into the details relevant to you.  What is the actual cost of getting to work on Wednesday if you were to work from home.  If you save $2,000 per year of after school care and $1,000 of mileage on your vehicle, plus you would love not punching the traffic one day a week, then this might have value financial and emotional to you.  

As well as doing your homework on the numbers and what you value for your lifestyle – good negotiators consider the other side.  How much money you need is not a useful chip in negotiations.  How much the employer can or is willing to pay is what matters.  Things like your cost of living (rent school fees etc ) are only relevant in terms of understanding your bottom line, it has no relevance to their budgets or what they see the role is worth.

Conversely it is also important to understand the costs to them of any of the things you are hoping for.  If your needs costs them nothing, or better save them (extra desk space, parking unused etc.) you should not necessarily sacrifice anything.  A successful negotiation is when everyone is happy.  If you can get something you value that cost your employer nothing that’s a win all round.   

Play the long game

One must play the lone game.   To do this you need to get clear about your next opportunities to negotiate;

  • When to formal reviews happen?
  • Do informal ones happen?
  • What are the criteria by which your success for advancement, pay rise or promotion are to be measured? 
  • What about when your role organically creeps and becomes more complex or senior? Job role creep is another area men are more likely to be remunerated for than women, so say the numbers.  Do not become one of these numbers.
  • What routes will you have to re-negotiate your pay and conditions? 

Share with us

Hopefully you’re prepared, and ready.  I’m keen you hear your experiences and what is working / not working for you. I’m also here to help if you are struggling, you are not alone.  Drop me comment below, or get in touch directly.


Thanks for doing your bit for all women and working to close this gap.



The Barefoot Consultant

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This is part of a larger series; here are the parts

Photo edited by Rosie Percy photo by Jens Johnsson from Pexels

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